Paranoid

In the middle of my trying-to-forgive...
Suddenly Rega called, after months not hearing from him.

"I'm at Dafa's school. I want to take him out. it's my day off today." He said.
I was surprised. If I could, I wanted to scream at his face.. told him to get his friggin' as* away from our-perfect-already life.

But I couldn't.

There are Ex-wives, and ex husbands.. but there are no such thing as ex-children..
I have no right to keep him away from his own Son, have I?
... but still.. I'm so damn worried. and afraid. and .. ahhhhhh.. speechless.

maybe I was being jealous. and hurt.

Jealous, because after his presence.. I won't be his center of the universe again..

Hurt, and angry. Wondering here had he been all these months?
where was he when Daffa needs attention?
was he even care to call?
Was he even dare to show up at all?

ah. damn.
I'm counting minutes now..
hoping hours will go by quickly..
and when I count to ten, Daffa will be in my arms again..

mmh. i just realized that i was so afraid.
Afraid that Rega will take away Daffa from me.
I know that it's almost impossible.
For He has to face my whole big family, if he wants to take Daffa away.
Oh, correction.. no need to involve the big family.
Me alone will make his life like living hell ....
..



aahh..
Oh dear God.. Please take care of Daffa..

Jumat, Februari 12, 2010 at 11.01 , 3 Comments | Links to this post